December 22, 2010
Dear Ven. Xian Zhong,
I have wanted to write for quite sometime. Sometime spiritual practice gets kicked aside for what seems like more practical matters. Like trying to fit into a new crowd. The transportation from Chuckawalla to Avenal took two full days with a very uncomfortable night at Chino State Prison. The tight, handcuffs, waist and leg chains combined with the very cold bus. Ride dehydrated me and I ended up not being to urinate for two days. All the ride I chanted Gate, Gate, Para Gate, Para Sam Gate, Bodhi Svaha with interludes of the Vajrasattva Mantra for good measure.
At times I meditated with the theme of No-Self from what I could remember from the Heart Sutra. I felt myself becoming very present. I watched quietly with no judgment as the guard at Chino screamed and rerated the inmate in front of me for stepping over the red line accidently. I silently tried to take his negative energy and return with positive energy. While in a cage for the night trying to stay comfortable on the concrete floor. I again watched as numerous staffs walked by the five of us all crammed together as if it was the most natural thing in the world. One older officer while walking with two younger officers stopped in mid-conversation as he passed by us and said “Good night gentleman, try to get some sleep, it will be a busy day tomorrow”. A few of us replied with a “Good night Sir”. And I added a “Thank You”.
It has been tough making the adjustment from a college student at Chuckawalla to living in a noisy crowed dorm where many inmates are on psyche medication. I had to leave a lot of items behind at Chuckawalla. I thought I had a copy of the service sheets but unfortunately that must be with one of the folders I left behind. What I do have is some sheets with the Four Noble Truths, The Eightfold Path, The Six Paramitas and The Four Immeasurable.
When I got here at Avenal I immediately started asking questions about the Chapel. I learned that an inmate here on this yard requested that time in the Chapel be made available for meditation. Unlike at Chuckawalla where when the yard is open, anyone can walk into the Chapel. Here a Chaplain must be on the premise to open the door. Thus for the one hour meditation which is to occur weekly, a ducat must be issued the night before to inmates wishing to attend. In the month and a half that I have been here there has only been one meeting. And I was not on the list. Without a job or any college courses; now is the perfect time to be doing spiritual work. I will send an inmate request to the Chaplain to find out what they can do to accommodate a Buddhist Faith group here. In the meantime, I meditate in the evening on top of my bunk after reading a little bit from “The Power of Now” or “Awaken to the Buddha Within”. I would like to have some service sheets with the Vajravattva and the Heart Sutra so that I could read them as well.
This move has just been another test and I will see it through.
